This post is in regards to the article “A Gay-Marriage Solution: End Marriage?”
Marriage has been defined for thousands of years as the union between two people-a man and a woman. This has been defined in Churches, Synagogues, Temples, many other religious venues, and in the government.Just within the past few years “a man and a woman” have been cut out of this definition so those unions not having a man and a woman would not feel excluded.
However, I am a woman. I am married to a man. I chose to love, honor and cherish him to the end of my days. I want to bear his children. I want to grow old with him.
I wear two rings on my left ring finger-one is an engagement ring, and one is our wedding band. When people see me walking down the street, writing a check, walking my dog-they can see I am married. They know that I have a best friend in the world-although he might not be with me, he is in my heart.
I have many symbols of our marriage in our home. Pictures of our wedding, our wedding gifts scattered throughout, a nice cozy bed to share especially on the cold nights, laundry to do, dinner to make and things to shop for.
But I hate feeling that I have to define my marriage as being married to a man. I feel I should say that I am married, very easily and simply, without having to explain myself. Twenty years ago, if a woman said she were married, it was obviously to a man, and vice versa. Why should I constantly have to say “my husband” or “him” and “he” in a conversation so people know that I have a straight marriage.
All of my symbols-the change in name, my rings, our wedding document, can now be used for people of the same sex to get married to each other. Why should I have to define my position?
I am not a homophobic. I am fine with men and men and women and women having civil unions, having families and sharing each other’s lives. They can get the tax breaks (what there are left of them are few!), they can be in each other’s wills, they can have every right that a man and woman in a marriage have. However, they can call it something other than a civil union, but something other than “marriage”.
“Marriage” has a historical, religious, and symbolic meaning to me, and many others. While there are many people who might argue that marriage has become mired down with a 50% divorce rate-I say-“What about the 50% that stay together?”. No one ever compliments them for their enduring the struggles that are necessary for a healthy marriage. These aggregators of marriage just highlight the fact that 50% did not make it. So, because 50% of marriage end up in divorce, we should change the definition or obliterate the word? Because people are offended by the definition being exclusive, we should change marriage?
Marriage does define me. I am married to a man, one man, and no one else. I like being a Mrs., not a Ms. I want marriage to stay as it is. Don’t allow people to strip titles and rights from you.